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| Presenting Cinderella and her Prime Charming! |
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| Taking inventory... |
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| The night ended with Cinderella laying her body over her candy and screaming "noooooo prince" when Ryder tried to check out her candy. And....it was bed time. |
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
So Charming...
Halloween was magical for us this year! We had the most beautiful Cinderella and our Prince was BEYOND charming! I decided to try and make Ryder's Prince Charming costume and was totally thrilled with how it turned out! Thankfully Gram helped me pull it together, I think we were both shocked we did it! I am going to cherish these photos forever! Taylor just loved having her brother as her Prince and kept telling people "this is my prince, but i just hope he doesn't kiss me" and Ryder just kept saying "PRINCE"! He just loved that he had a sword and got to hold a bucket and say "trick treat".
Monday, October 29, 2012
sheer gratitude.
here is a look into the past 7 weeks of recovery. i am overwhelmed with sheer gratitude for the love and support i received. i required full time help with ryder because i wasn't able to lift him for 6 weeks...we were blessed with visits from friends and family to help us make it through. honestly we could not have done it without them. literally...could not have done it.
surgery and hospital recovery. my parents, ryan and cambria were all there to see me at my finest. :)
the first two weeks of recovery were spent being completely taken care of by my parents at the coast. they also had ryder to take care of and were truly amazing. my mom woke up at 2am to bring me my pain meds. now that is love. ryder loves playing with his papa & backa and i am so thankful they were able to bless us with their love and support. while at the coast i received some wonderful gifts, these beautiful flowers came from my amazing clients Steve & Cherie! i also had a wonderful visit from Gena to help brighten my day!
meanwhile taylor and ryan were in lg going to school...ryan had to be super dad and get tay ready for school each day! he then had to deal with a sick litte girl when she came down with a cold. i know he was ready for some serious help so thankfully his parents were able to help him out during my second week at the coast. ryan is an amazing dad and taylor loved her alone time with him!
cambria was brave enough to drive me the 5 hours back to home and she then took amazing care of my family. it was a hard adjustment with all the travel and still in the early stages of healing so i required a lot of help. cambria is a true bf. she made my meals, took full care of my children and helped ryan in the evenings with bath and bed time. just love her.
our next visitor was annie who drove all the way from helena, montana! we were so thrilled to see our amazing friend again and just loved the week we got to spend together. before surgery i had thought i would be feeling really good by the time annie came to visit...the truth was i was still really exhausted and needed a lot of help! thankfully annie was ready and willing to do whatever she could! we of course were completely spoiled with her amazing cooking which she also left us a freezer full of! so thankful for annie and the time she spent with us.
next came our trip to boise to see our besties...the wolf family! ryan had to leave town for a conference and i still needed help so luke & angie were so sweet to let us come take over their house and help me! our trips to boise are always so much fun and thankfully i was starting to feel better by this time and was able to even go shopping with Ang which is a must!
week 5 was spent with my bf...again! cambria came back to help us yet again and we enjoyed some amazing fall weather together. sipping on our coffees, enjoying ryans delicious cookies and just being thankful that we had this time to spend together.
it's not over yet. next came dan & glenda! we had a great weekend together and it was homecoming at eou so we all braved the rain and watched the parade and some of us (not me) made it to the football game. we also got to go to the pumpkin patch together which was so much fun!
6 weeks later it was time to head back over to portland for my post-op appointments. my parents and dan & glenda also helped me with the kids as I got back to work. it felt good to start feeling normal again. picking up my baby boy again was an amazing feeling...except for the fact he felt like he weighed more like 100 lbs than 26lbs. i haven't attempted lifting taylor yet but just being more present and available to them both feels amazing.
my post-op appointments went well and i am thrilled to be putting this entire ordeal behind me finally. thanks to everyone for the prayers, the meals, the time and the love that you have given us.
sheer gratitude.
Monday, September 10, 2012
recovery.
surgery day has come and gone and thankfully i am now on the road to recovery.
i don't remember much. i remember sitting in the pre-op room with ryan and my parents trying to stay calm. i remember fighting back the tears when my dad begin to pray over me and then being wheeled down to the operating room. after that i was in the recovery room trying to take deep breaths and begging to please go see my family. ryan stayed by my side the entire stay at the hospital and was able to talk with my doctor after surgery.
the surgery went very well and i ended up not having any endomitriosis, instead they found that i had pelvic congestion syndrome. i am told that its like having a bunch of vericose veins in your abdomen. they also found the adenomoysis. in other words my body was very much in need of this surgery. the great news is i was able to keep one ovary...so no hormone replacements!
it has been a difficult couple of days, but i am now at the coast and being well taken care of by my parents. the pain is a bit overwhelming but it's already slowly getting better and hopefully the recovery will continue to go well. i have had a lot of different emotions throughout this entire experience and i am just thankful to be past the surgery. i have such wonderful family and friends supporting me through this and i am very thankful.
i don't remember much. i remember sitting in the pre-op room with ryan and my parents trying to stay calm. i remember fighting back the tears when my dad begin to pray over me and then being wheeled down to the operating room. after that i was in the recovery room trying to take deep breaths and begging to please go see my family. ryan stayed by my side the entire stay at the hospital and was able to talk with my doctor after surgery.
the surgery went very well and i ended up not having any endomitriosis, instead they found that i had pelvic congestion syndrome. i am told that its like having a bunch of vericose veins in your abdomen. they also found the adenomoysis. in other words my body was very much in need of this surgery. the great news is i was able to keep one ovary...so no hormone replacements!
it has been a difficult couple of days, but i am now at the coast and being well taken care of by my parents. the pain is a bit overwhelming but it's already slowly getting better and hopefully the recovery will continue to go well. i have had a lot of different emotions throughout this entire experience and i am just thankful to be past the surgery. i have such wonderful family and friends supporting me through this and i am very thankful.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
first day.
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Dropped our baby girl off at Pre-Kindergarten today! She was so excited, not nervous or scared...just thrilled to be going to school! Taylor popped right into her classroom and handed her teacher Mrs. Miles her little gift we had prepared (apple scented hand sanitizer with a cute little label that Tay wrote) and hung her Lallaloopsy backup under her name tag! Then she was off. No looking back, just see ya! Ryder was a bit more concerned and kept saying "bye bye tay" and when we got to the car "where sissy". Poor guy! Taylor had told him before we left the house that she was going to leave her door open for him so he could play with her kitchen while she was gone (that is major for her).
We were both very excited to pick her up after school and hear all about her first day! She said her favorite part was learning the Pledge of Allegiance and playing with the doll house. Proud of Taylor and can't believe it's already time for school. What a big girl she has become and I love that she was so excited to go and learn! When I asked her what she wants to be when she grows up she said "a teacher of course". Then she paused and said...but also I might want to be a horse trainer. When I asked her if I should write that on her sign she paused then said "well maybe not because I am actually kind of scared of horses, let's stick with teacher". Ok Tay. Ok. Just love this girl.
Friday, August 31, 2012
the simple things.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
life changing.
In my last post I mentioned that this summer has been crazy...the main reason for that is my health has taken a major turn for the worse since May. I will say the pictures of all the fun times this summer may be confusing when I say this...but thankfully I have been blessed with some good days and have taken full advantage of them!
I am currently struggling with the diagnosis but I thought maybe writing about it might help.
Ever since Taylor was born I have had what I have always called "attacks" on my body a few times a year. Up until recently it has been just that...a crazy attack that took me out and gave me flu like symptoms. I always knew it wasn't the flu and that something wasn't quite right, but it wasn't a priority at the time. I was busy with life.
Fast forward to post Ryder and nursing. With pregnancy hormones out of my system the "attacks" were back and in a major way. I was spending day after day being sick with sharp pains in my abdomen, nausea and fatigue. Eventually I could barely eat anything without being instantly sick and taking care of my kids and running a business was no longer possible. OK, time to see a Dr.
I won't go into the MAJOR frustration that has been. As my symptoms became more persistent and severe the tests continued on....but never an answer. I eventually ended up in the ER and finally things began to happen. More tests were ran and I was quickly sent to a GI specialist then over to an OB specialist than back to the GI and yes...back to the OB again. During a colonoscopy the GI found that I had "something" attached to the outside of my colon which no longer looked like a large C as it is suppose to but rather multiple S shapes. He also noted that my liver was being pushed up against my colon. After being on heavy pain medication, anti-nausea medication, stomach muscle relaxers and hormones...an answer came.
On Thursday I was diagnosed with Adenomoysis. I know...what is that? Definition here...
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/adenomyosis/ds00636
My Dr was able to show me the ultrasound of my uterus and it reminded me of the first time you see your tiny baby inside of you. A small little sack just floating in a big space. This time I saw more like 1200 tiny sacks floating...not the same excitement followed this ultrasound. Multiple cysts and blood pockets have taken over my uterus. I wanted to scream..get out of there!
I also have multiple cysts outside of the uterus, one of which recently burst leaving a large amount of fluid (the visit to the ER) oh then there is the endometriosis.
Prior to the adenomysis being discovered the hope was that hormones in the form of a pill and injection monthly may help regulate things. However after the adenomoysis was found and apparently at a severe level I will now be having a full hysterectomy. Gulp.
Let me stop here and say that I was instantly taken over with the gratitude to God that I was blessed with two beautiful children prior to this happening to my body. So many of my friends are just now getting married and having children and how thankful I am that my life took a different path. The devastation that I would have felt not having these amazing babies would be unthinkable. Thank you God for that.
I am trying to focus on that. I have my babies. They are perfect and I will be OK. I am scared. Really scared. I just pray this is the answer I have been waiting for all these months. The chronic pain and nausea has been debilitating to not only myself but my family. Our parents have had to take our children for weeks at a time while also caring for me. Ryan has had to put his book project on a very far back shelf and try to stay on top of his 4 classes this summer while being a full time caregiver to our children and myself. Focus on that...I keep telling myself.
I am ready to be a Mom, a wife and a designer again. My family, friends and clients have all been so supportive and I feel very blessed for that.
The surgery will be a DaVinci Robotics hysterectomy...fancy I know. That means less invasive and quicker recovery...both good things. There are still so many unknowns, will they be able to remove all of the endometriosis from my other organs? Is there permanent damage to my colon? Will this really take all the symptoms away? The big one...can they save at least one ovary so that I don't have to start Hormone Replacement? It's a risk leaving one ovary in because I will very likely end up having it removed down the road because endometriosis will come back....but it could buy me time not being on the HR. For now that is all in the hands of God...and my surgeon.
Surgery will be in the next few weeks and I am currently waiting for the hospital to call and schedule...hurry up please. I need to plan things people! You know me...always needing to plan. This is major though and even with a "quicker recovery" that means somewhere around 4 weeks.
Well, that is the story. It feels good to write it out. This is really happening and I am really nervous...but thankful and relieved to know I wasn't losing my mind.
Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support...I have been so out of my mind in pain that I know I haven't taken the time to properly thank you.
I am currently struggling with the diagnosis but I thought maybe writing about it might help.
Ever since Taylor was born I have had what I have always called "attacks" on my body a few times a year. Up until recently it has been just that...a crazy attack that took me out and gave me flu like symptoms. I always knew it wasn't the flu and that something wasn't quite right, but it wasn't a priority at the time. I was busy with life.
Fast forward to post Ryder and nursing. With pregnancy hormones out of my system the "attacks" were back and in a major way. I was spending day after day being sick with sharp pains in my abdomen, nausea and fatigue. Eventually I could barely eat anything without being instantly sick and taking care of my kids and running a business was no longer possible. OK, time to see a Dr.
I won't go into the MAJOR frustration that has been. As my symptoms became more persistent and severe the tests continued on....but never an answer. I eventually ended up in the ER and finally things began to happen. More tests were ran and I was quickly sent to a GI specialist then over to an OB specialist than back to the GI and yes...back to the OB again. During a colonoscopy the GI found that I had "something" attached to the outside of my colon which no longer looked like a large C as it is suppose to but rather multiple S shapes. He also noted that my liver was being pushed up against my colon. After being on heavy pain medication, anti-nausea medication, stomach muscle relaxers and hormones...an answer came.
On Thursday I was diagnosed with Adenomoysis. I know...what is that? Definition here...
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/adenomyosis/ds00636
My Dr was able to show me the ultrasound of my uterus and it reminded me of the first time you see your tiny baby inside of you. A small little sack just floating in a big space. This time I saw more like 1200 tiny sacks floating...not the same excitement followed this ultrasound. Multiple cysts and blood pockets have taken over my uterus. I wanted to scream..get out of there!
I also have multiple cysts outside of the uterus, one of which recently burst leaving a large amount of fluid (the visit to the ER) oh then there is the endometriosis.
Prior to the adenomysis being discovered the hope was that hormones in the form of a pill and injection monthly may help regulate things. However after the adenomoysis was found and apparently at a severe level I will now be having a full hysterectomy. Gulp.
Let me stop here and say that I was instantly taken over with the gratitude to God that I was blessed with two beautiful children prior to this happening to my body. So many of my friends are just now getting married and having children and how thankful I am that my life took a different path. The devastation that I would have felt not having these amazing babies would be unthinkable. Thank you God for that.
I am trying to focus on that. I have my babies. They are perfect and I will be OK. I am scared. Really scared. I just pray this is the answer I have been waiting for all these months. The chronic pain and nausea has been debilitating to not only myself but my family. Our parents have had to take our children for weeks at a time while also caring for me. Ryan has had to put his book project on a very far back shelf and try to stay on top of his 4 classes this summer while being a full time caregiver to our children and myself. Focus on that...I keep telling myself.
I am ready to be a Mom, a wife and a designer again. My family, friends and clients have all been so supportive and I feel very blessed for that.
The surgery will be a DaVinci Robotics hysterectomy...fancy I know. That means less invasive and quicker recovery...both good things. There are still so many unknowns, will they be able to remove all of the endometriosis from my other organs? Is there permanent damage to my colon? Will this really take all the symptoms away? The big one...can they save at least one ovary so that I don't have to start Hormone Replacement? It's a risk leaving one ovary in because I will very likely end up having it removed down the road because endometriosis will come back....but it could buy me time not being on the HR. For now that is all in the hands of God...and my surgeon.
Surgery will be in the next few weeks and I am currently waiting for the hospital to call and schedule...hurry up please. I need to plan things people! You know me...always needing to plan. This is major though and even with a "quicker recovery" that means somewhere around 4 weeks.
Well, that is the story. It feels good to write it out. This is really happening and I am really nervous...but thankful and relieved to know I wasn't losing my mind.
Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support...I have been so out of my mind in pain that I know I haven't taken the time to properly thank you.
summer.
This is a first. 3 months and no blogging. Wow. One word for this summer...crazy. In my next post I will explain a bit more but for now...here are some pictures from June.July.August. They aren't even in order...I really am bad. We have been all over!
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| Beach trip with the Wolf Family over the 4th of July! Pure joy watching their kids see the beach and the ocean for the very first time! |
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| A rainy June day on campus with daddy. |
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| Taylor's Ballet Recital! |
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| Father's Day |
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| My firest nephew was born on June 10th!!! Calvin Michael Dearinger! |
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| Mike & Jessie's wedding this summer |
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| Cute baby boy... |
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| Smores in the backyard! |
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| We built a new deck! |
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| A trip to the zoo! |
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| Fourth of July at the beach...a favorite family tradition. |
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| Pool day with Sophie! |
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| The Kunic Family in the LG!!! |
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| Backa visiting The Big. |
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| Wallowa Lake |
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| Taylor's Vacation to.... |
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| SeaWorld! Also...Daddy spoke at a conference..no exciting pictures of this though. |
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| Ryder is getting so big! |
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| Playing soccer with Daddy... |
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Gram and Grandpa visit The Big. |
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