ryan. jessica .taylor.ryder: August 2012

In my last post I mentioned that this summer has been crazy...the main reason for that is my health has taken a major turn for the worse since May. I will say the pictures of all the fun times this summer may be confusing when I say this...but thankfully I have been blessed with some good days and have taken full advantage of them!
I am currently struggling with the diagnosis but I thought maybe writing about it might help.
Ever since Taylor was born I have had what I have always called "attacks" on my body a few times a year. Up until recently it has been just that...a crazy attack that took me out and gave me flu like symptoms. I always knew it wasn't the flu and that something wasn't quite right, but it wasn't a priority at the time. I was busy with life.
Fast forward to post Ryder and nursing. With pregnancy hormones out of my system the "attacks" were back and in a major way. I was spending day after day being sick with sharp pains in my abdomen, nausea and fatigue. Eventually I could barely eat anything without being instantly sick and taking care of my kids and running a business was no longer possible. OK, time to see a Dr.
I won't go into the MAJOR frustration that has been. As my symptoms became more persistent and severe the tests continued on....but never an answer. I eventually ended up in the ER and finally things began to happen. More tests were ran and I was quickly sent to a GI specialist then over to an OB specialist than back to the GI and yes...back to the OB again. During a colonoscopy the GI found that I had "something" attached to the outside of my colon which no longer looked like a large C as it is suppose to but rather multiple S shapes. He also noted that my liver was being pushed up against my colon. After being on heavy pain medication, anti-nausea medication, stomach muscle relaxers and hormones...an answer came.
On Thursday I was diagnosed with Adenomoysis. I know...what is that? Definition here...
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/adenomyosis/ds00636
My Dr was able to show me the ultrasound of my uterus and it reminded me of the first time you see your tiny baby inside of you. A small little sack just floating in a big space. This time I saw more like 1200 tiny sacks floating...not the same excitement followed this ultrasound. Multiple cysts and blood pockets have taken over my uterus. I wanted to scream..get out of there!
I also have multiple cysts outside of the uterus, one of which recently burst leaving a large amount of fluid (the visit to the ER) oh then there is the endometriosis.
Prior to the adenomysis being discovered the hope was that hormones in the form of a pill and injection monthly may help regulate things. However after the adenomoysis was found and apparently at a severe level I will now be having a full hysterectomy. Gulp.
Let me stop here and say that I was instantly taken over with the gratitude to God that I was blessed with two beautiful children prior to this happening to my body. So many of my friends are just now getting married and having children and how thankful I am that my life took a different path. The devastation that I would have felt not having these amazing babies would be unthinkable. Thank you God for that.
I am trying to focus on that. I have my babies. They are perfect and I will be OK. I am scared. Really scared. I just pray this is the answer I have been waiting for all these months. The chronic pain and nausea has been debilitating to not only myself but my family. Our parents have had to take our children for weeks at a time while also caring for me. Ryan has had to put his book project on a very far back shelf and try to stay on top of his 4 classes this summer while being a full time caregiver to our children and myself. Focus on that...I keep telling myself.
I am ready to be a Mom, a wife and a designer again. My family, friends and clients have all been so supportive and I feel very blessed for that.
The surgery will be a DaVinci Robotics hysterectomy...fancy I know. That means less invasive and quicker recovery...both good things. There are still so many unknowns, will they be able to remove all of the endometriosis from my other organs? Is there permanent damage to my colon? Will this really take all the symptoms away? The big one...can they save at least one ovary so that I don't have to start Hormone Replacement? It's a risk leaving one ovary in because I will very likely end up having it removed down the road because endometriosis will come back....but it could buy me time not being on the HR. For now that is all in the hands of God...and my surgeon.
Surgery will be in the next few weeks and I am currently waiting for the hospital to call and schedule...hurry up please. I need to plan things people! You know me...always needing to plan. This is major though and even with a "quicker recovery" that means somewhere around 4 weeks.
Well, that is the story. It feels good to write it out. This is really happening and I am really nervous...but thankful and relieved to know I wasn't losing my mind.
Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support...I have been so out of my mind in pain that I know I haven't taken the time to properly thank you.

This is a first. 3 months and no blogging. Wow. One word for this summer...crazy. In my next post I will explain a bit more but for now...here are some pictures from June.July.August. They aren't even in order...I really am bad. We have been all over!